It's Easy When You're Young Not To Realize That You're Lucky


I originally wrote this post a couple of weeks ago when the wine and the words were finally flowing after so many months of the well being dry.

The word well that is. The wine well has never been fuller than it has this past year.

The gist of it was an overview of how utterly emotionally exhausting this year has been, juxtaposed with all the struggles of those closest to me and the world at large as a reminder that I have no right to complain. A nice hot mess of feeling sorry for myself and then feeling guilty for feeling sorry for myself.

I don't feel that it accomplished what my inebriated mind intended it to do, so I took it down the next morning.

But I desperately do want to reclaim this creative space again and the only thing stopping me is how overwhelming a feat it seems to pick up where I left off, complete with an explanation or recap of where I've been. So here I am, reposting this in a (ridiculously) pared down version, as a means to rip the bandaid off and just get back at it.

The recap is this: This year has been hard. For me, sure, but for everyone it seems. I don't know if this is just adulthood-induced hyperawareness and this is why adults always seemed so stressed out when I was a kid or if things really are that bad in the world. It sure feels like the latter.

But then we got married and all of the people closest to us came out and made our day incredible for us and for that I am grateful. It was the brightest spot in an otherwise pretty dark couple of years and it has created a lightness in me that has made me cautiously hopeful again. To be the recipient of such love and generosity, to feel like I've entered a new, elevated phase with the love of my life, to be done with the (fun) stress of planning and paying for a wedding, and to have come to my own realization of what needs to take priority now that we have started this new chapter as a family unit.

That reprioritization has made me a lot more aware of the changes I need to make to be the best version of myself that I can be for my husband, my family and friends and the planet. And the best version of me desperately needs a creative outlet and a platform to share and connect.

Which brings me back to this space. My little digital sanctuary.

I'm excited to reconnect and to carve out time for myself to focus on this space in a new way. While this is a place where I still want to write about all things to do with my life (helloooo wedding posts!), living in San Diego, surf shack decor, travels, fitness, and the ocean, I'll also be adding in a lot more about my focus on a more eco-conscious lifestyle and conscious consumerism, my personal creative projects, and eventually, our grand adventure of starting a family (!!!!).