Soul Work

Earlier today, Ryan saw me reading and working and jokingly asked me if I was doing homework (it's a joke only because I'm not in school anymore - finally!). Without a second thought, I told him that I was doing Soul Work, a phrase that felt indulgent and hokey and worthy of an eye roll (or five). But also... accurate.

It's what I've been immersed in for the past month or so coming into this, my "butterfly" year. There's not really a structure or a point or a goal for it. It's just what I feel like spending almost all of my free time on lately. I've been super introspective and in my own little world for weeks: reading, journaling, listening, planning, dreaming.

Here's what Soul Work is shaping up to mean for the month of March:

• Finishing reading The Desire Map and identifying my "core desired feelings"
• Finishing listening to The Fire Starter Sessions and completing the worksheets
• Fully participating in The Salty Club: cooking the recipes, doing the workouts, following the journaling prompts
• Meditating by the ocean, spending time enjoying it up close or getting in it at least once each day
• Running or yoga once a day
• Drinking more water
• Outlining content for my book
• Spending more zen time in my little nook in our office

I'm curious to see if there are other people doing Soul Work this season and what that means for them. If you're reading something awesome or listening to a great podcast, let me know!

Good Intentions

Rumor has it that it's already February, huh?

Something tells me that's the way things are going to go in 2018. Between wedding planning and work and this weird rate of warp speed that life seems to be moving at in my thirties, I can already tell this year is going to be a blur. I know that some years are just meant to be that way. But after two years that I'd actually rather forget, I want to remember this one.

To do that? I have to get a little more intentional than I was last year.

Last year, in 2017, in my personal life my goal was to not have goals. Just flow or be still. I needed to force myself to not do anything. To be aimless for a while.

But I am not an aimless person by nature. I am a stress and achievement addict, a productivity junkie. Granted, it's a habit that I am actively and aggressively trying to break, but I know that there's a happy medium. Something between relaxed and productive, between flowing and planning, between apathy and anxiety.

I woke up this morning with a new determination to work on finding that balance this year.

A few weeks ago, we did a vision boarding exercise at work. Mine came out more or less how every vision or mood or inspiration board has come out for me since I was a kid. There are constants: fitness, the ocean, surfing, bright colors, fun, art, food and the outdoors. All of which I want more of in 2018.

So, even though it's one month into the new year already (shhhh), I'd like to set some intentions for this year:

• Protect the Ocean: Towards the end of 2017, I started to find a renewed sense of purpose, a mission around ocean conservation. It started with a surfing program and continued through beach doing clean-ups and watching documentaries. I was so driven towards environmental action and animal protection as a kid and I lost that part of myself in my 20s. It feels really, really good to get it back. This year, I want to focus even more on reducing waste, being more mindful about how my lifestyle choices impact the environment, educating myself more on my purchases, and choosing the planet over convenience. 

• Don't Be Sorry, Be Better: I've written my fair share of apology texts and spent days of my life feeling bad for things I've said or done. I need to focus on ways that I can be better instead of sorry. 

• "Remember When You Wanted What You Currently Have": This is a quote that I see pop up from time to time and it has never been more relevant than this year. There are years where we have everything we could ever want. Those times are fleeting and I think this year is going to be one of them. And since it won't be that way forever, I want to make sure I am savoring every bit of it. 

• Stay the Course: I want to continue studying A Course in Miracles and growing from what I learn in my studies. I notice that when I distance myself from studying the Course, it's because I want to do something that doesn't really align with its teachings. Which should be the first sign that something is awry and there is a lesson to be learned. (And if I want to sound like a real crazy hippie, I'd share that I am becoming of the belief that the Course is the true path to ending emotional legacies, which means that I have be intentional about creating time for it.)

• Let Go without Letting Yourself Go: Somewhere along the line I confused letting go with letting myself go. I let go of fears about my health and Lynch Syndrome by just letting go of taking care of my health at all. I let go of people's opinions about me and somehow this manifested in letting go of the way I showed up. I don't want to do this anymore. It's time to put some effort into my appearance all the while making sure that I'm doing it for me and not someone else's opinion of me or what I should look like. 

• W.A.I.T.: The most important acronym for me these days: Why Am I Talking? I really need to work on this one this year. Work on listening more, interrupting less, being mindful of why I'm saying whatever I'm saying. Is is because I want to control something? So someone will like me or think I'm smart? Paying more attention to why I'm saying whatever I'm saying feels key.

Let's do this 2018.

You Can't Conquer The Ocean

photo credit // Groundswell Community Project

I think it was my fifth surf therapy session with Groundswell Community Project. I was paired up with a volunteer, a surf sister, Rebecca, who I hadn't met before, so I was introducing myself. I was giving her my elevator pitch, a quick synopsis of why I had joined their summer program. 

"Yeah, so I just learned how to swim a couple of years ago and this," I said, sweeping my hand to indicate the ocean on the horizon, "...is the next thing to conquer." 

We didn't have much time. Rebecca was listening, but at that particular moment she was mostly looking for the best place to help me get in the ocean as quickly as possible, trying to make sure I got on a wave or two on a particularly choppy day. Which is why I doubt she noticed when my own words stopped me in my tracks.

"Conquer" the ocean. Like it was just another achievement waiting to be checked off. Like it was something almost mechanical, merely requiring strategy, calculations and persistence.

Like it was even remotely possible. 

This sudden awareness of how I was describing the ocean was the seed of only one of the many salt water-soaked lessons that I learned with Groundswell Community Project this summer. I am profoundly and deeply changed after spending 8 weeks with their wonderful volunteers and their incredible force of a founder, Natalie Small. And of course, with Mother Ocean.

Only now, after reflecting on my experience for the past month to try and make sure I accurately articulate how it's changed me, have I felt able to share. 

May Cause Miracles

All you need is love.

In the past whenever I heard that phrase, I had a very narrow interpretation of it: if you had a love in your life, romantic or otherwise, that was all you needed to be happy.

But this year, I started to look at love differently. I started to look at it as a life philosophy. I looked at as something I could inject into my life on my own, moment to moment. I started to view love as the absence of fear. And I arrived at that definition by doing a 42-Day Fear Detox designed by Gabrielle Bernstein in her book, May Cause Miracles.

Honestly? It's changing my life.

I completed the workshop in February and have spent the last two months building on the spiritual work that I began during that process. The lessons I learned in those 42 days have become so important to me, so eye-opening and so sacred, that I decided I wanted to share them here. Which, naturally I was afraid to do, because it's a bit different than the content I usually post. But ultimately? It abides by the same North Star I've always had for this blog: to write about things that make me happy.

And if it makes other people happy too? Even better.

Adios, Mi Tortuga Bebé!

As far as bucket list items go, I'll be the first to admit that participating in a baby sea turtle release is probably more of a fringe choice than most. Still, it was something that I had always wanted to do, starting as a kid way back in the 90s, when I asked for a sea turtle adoption kit for Christmas (likely because of the stuffed animal that came with it). 

Last year, I found out that there was a sea turtle rescue right in Sayulita and during high season (November-January) they release babies almost nightly. I was so shocked that I had never heard of this before... after all the research I'd done before both of my previous trips to my favorite little retreat, I couldn't believe it had never come up. I started following the group that does the releases, Campamento Tortuguero Sayulita, on Facebook and the more photos I saw of those sweet, tiny tortugas, the more I wanted to be a part of a release. 

Take notes, kids: this is how you justify taking a semi-spontaneous weekend trip to Sayulita. Saving the sea turtles! 

Think About It

Rebekah Steen of GoldfishKiss.com is my blogger idol. 

She's also my fashion idol, art idol, etc. etc. (The list really does go on). 

Last year when I had my blogger identity crisis, I took some cues from Rebekah and decided that the sole guiding principle for each and every post I write should be to make sure that it makes someone feel good, even if that person is just me, getting out something that I need to write about. 

Now, for the first time, I want to repost one of Rebekah's recent posts because I think this is a message that needs to reach as many people as possible. This post hit me. It's exactly what I've needed to hear/read for some time.  

In the week since she shared it, I've given this to co-workers and friends, I've linked to it for bloggers who need to read it too, and most importantly, I've printed it out for myself and stuck it in multiple places where I can see it as a reminder. It only makes sense that I stick it here as well. 

Everyone should be reading Rebekah's blog. Every. Day. She's a good, beautiful soul, inside and out. 

I can't thank her enough for these words, right when I needed them. Here's to hoping they help someone else the way they helped me. 

30 Before 30

original pc: Horizon Light Photography

My 20s have been good great to me.

For starters? I've seen my writing in print. I've crowd surfed at music festivals, climbed on stage at the MTV VMAs, flirted my way onto a band's tour bus, and lied my way into a fancy album release party. I've run half-marathons. I've run a full marathon. I've even walked 60 miles for charity. I lived in New York City for two years and in London for three weeks. I've lived alone, dined alone, traveled alone, gone to the movies alone, gone to concerts alone...  I even went to Coachella alone. I conquered my biggest fear and finally learned how to swim. I've zip lined through the jungle in Mexico, stood in ancient ruins in Rome, and watched the lights twinkle in Paris from the Eiffel Tower. I've waited tables, sold Apple computers, researched story lines for a novelist, and edited a magazine. I've drunkenly bear-hugged Bill Murray and I've soberly called John Mayer a moron to his face. I got a tattoo.. then another.. and another.

I've hosted and cooked an entire Thanksgiving meal for my family. I've run through the South of France in the rain with fresh baguettes and stood on Gaudi's rooftops in Barcelona. I finished my bachelor's degree then my (first) master's degree while working full-time during five very caffeinated years. I've skinny dipped in the Pacific Ocean and strolled through Central Park. I took a gondola ride through Venice, explored the Vatican, and toured the Palace of Versailles. I've been on the top of the Empire State Building at 1am, gambled the night away in Vegas and watched the sun set over the Grand Canyon. I packed up everything I owned and moved to California, with no job prospects in sight. I met a boy, I fell in love, and we adopted two rescue dogs.

I found out what made me happy and I am grateful every day.

And don't get me wrong, my 20s still feel far from over. Unfortunately, regardless of how I "feel," it doesn't change the fact that in 15 months, I'll be entering my next decade.

Honestly? I'm not scared to turn 30, I'm not dreading it like I'm apparently supposed to. Not one little bit. How can I with all the wonderful stuff I got to experience during my 20s? In fact, I'm really excited for my 30s, for focusing more on the people and activities that I love and less on the things that I don't, for being done with school, for settling down... but... I mean...

There's still time to make my 20s go out with a bang.

Back to Home: An Interview with Tristan Prettyman

Way back in 2005, on the other side of the country, I was working in the music department of a Borders bookstore. One day, one of the label reps came in and handed me 10 copies of an EP titled Love. He started talking about the artist, this girl from San Diego named Tristan Prettyman, and I can still remember how enthusiastic he was when he told me I was going to absolutely love her.

He had no idea how right he was.

#GIRLBOSS

Most of the time, I get packages delivered to my office. Such was the case when I had my first order from Nasty Gal delivered a few years ago. Little did I know that "NASTY GAL" would be splashed across the packaging in an incriminating font.

Obvs, I made a point to stress to everyone who saw me shamefully carry the box back to my desk that it was clothes, just totally normal clothes, I swear... Still. Because of that, I didn't really order from Nasty Gal much in the years that followed. I wasn't super impressed by the quality vs the price and it wasn't totally my style anyway.

But recently, Nasty Gal and it's CEO, Sophia Amoruso, started popping up everywhere. Everyone on social media was reading Amoruso's book, #GIRLBOSS, and then my friends started reading it too. By the time my friend Raina chose it for our company's book club selection, I was intrigued enough to give it a shot.

Saltwater Buddha

For the past decade, ever since I worked in a bookstore, I've promised myself about once a month that I'm not going to buy any new books until I read the ones I own. Naturally, it hasn't worked out that way. 

Which is why I was so proud of myself when I finally picked "Saltwater Buddha" up off my bookshelf a month or so ago and started reading it.  I've had this book for what seems like forever, but Amazon tells me that I bought it in July of 2012. 

So, I mean, it only took me two years to get around to reading it. 

Leighton Meester + Dana Williams's Fleetwood Mac Cover

This just makes me want to be poolside in the desert on a summer night.   Happy Friday!

"I Can't" Vs. "I Don't Want To"

Throughout this diet, there has been a common reaction when I tell people what I'm doing. Usually they ask how much weight I've lost and then ask me what the catch is. I tell them the basics: no caffeine, no alcohol, no wheat, no dairy... Without fail, their response is: "Oh, I can't do that."

What they really mean to say is that they don't want to do that.

I'm not judging here. I'm guilty of it too. In fact, I've said I "can't" do tons of diets, but really, at those times, I just didn't want to make the sacrifices to lose weight. Now, I do. Which made realize something: I think we should stop saying "I can't" when we mean to say "I don't want to." And here's why: when we say we can't do something, we're not being honest with ourselves and others. 

For example: let's say your friends ask you to come out to the bar and you don't really feel like it. Your response may be: "I can't." That's when your friends start calling bullshit and you either A. Piss them off because you're being so vague and acting like you have no control over your actions or B. Allow yourself to get peer pressured into something you didn't really want to do. But what would the reaction have been if you simply said, "I don't want to tonight"?

"I can't" was the same reaction that people had when I told them how much training I had to do for the marathon. "I could never do that!" No, barring some actual physical disability that prevents you from the training and impact that running a marathon involves, what you mean to say is that you don't want to do that. And I don't blame you! I don't want to do it again either!

That's the second benefit of not relying on the crutch of "I can't": accountability and self-knowledge. 

By taking ownership of your feelings and decisions and interests, you start to hear yourself more clearly. Many people who have learned how much weight I've lost on this diet, seemed incredibly interested to try it, only to shy away when they understand the discipline that's involved. Maybe they don't want to give up their morning coffee or enjoying happy hour with friends and that's great... I'll soon be rejoining them.

But when you start admitting that to yourself, you are admitting that you are accountable for the state of health that you're in. Start saying that you don't want to work out instead of "I can't" and that you don't want to diet to lose weight instead of "I can't" and eventually you will realize where you stand on your approach to your personal health, even if that means finding out that you're standing in your own way.

I hesitated to write this post because isn't about superiority or judgment or trying to push my crazy fad dieting onto anyone else, though I worry that it sounds that way. In fact, it's very much the opposite. Because there's one more benefit to being honest about not wanting to do something: it stops you from being hard on yourself and allows you to be satisfied with your choices. 

• Stop saying that you can't move to your dream city and say instead that you don't want to move to your dream city if it means leaving xyz behind, because those things are more important to you.

• Stop saying that you can't quit your job and travel the world for 6 months and instead say that you don't want to work the extra jobs and sacrifice the time or career progression that it would take to finance or indulge a trip like that. 

• Stop saying that you can't break up with your significant other and instead say that you don't want to because you're scared to be alone or scared of the unknown.

• Stop saying that you can't get a pet and instead say that you don't want to because you value the freedom and flexibility of not having that obligation to another living being. 

Most importantly, don't be afraid of admitting why you don't want these things. They're who you are! And if you don't like what you hear when you say it out loud, at least now you know and you have the power to either change it or stop beating yourself up and accept it. If other people don't like who you are? Well, then you're making room for people who do.

I believe so much in the power and freedom of transparency. When you're honest with the world and yourself about who you are, you attract the people and experiences that reflect that and reject those that clash with the way you choose to live. When you say "I can't" you are saying that you have no choice as to what happens to you.

When are you saying you can't when you should be saying you don't want to?

Friends Who Sweat Together...

Tanya Maslach, founder of GOTRIbal and ActiveBudz

There is no aspect about running that I complain about more than my lack of a running buddy. OK, that's not true. Some of my other complaints involve it being dark too early, me being too tired, too achy, it being too chilly... BUT! I do in fact complain a lot about having to run alone, which is why I'm so excited when I get to run with my friend Anjali or when I meet potential new running buddies like Kate over at SoCal Runner Gal. Because let's face it, it's BORING to run alone ALL the time.

Cue: Tanya Maslach, the San Diego-based entrepreneur and founder of GOTRIbal and ActiveBudz. Over the past couple of weeks I have had the pleasure of getting to know her a bit and wow, is this a woman to admire. A marine biologist turned executive consultant turned entrepreneur, Tanya's list of accomplishments is dazzling and that's just her resume. She's also a fitness icon, having been a collegiate athlete and more recently, a kickass triathlete.

More importantly, GOTRIbal found a recent MIT study that showed that participants in online health communities are 166% more likely to change behavior when they receive reinforcement from multiple online health buddies. That's certainly true in my case: when I was training for my marathon, nothing motivated me more than seeing encouragement and accountability questions from my fellow runners on Twitter each day.

GOTRIbal has created their own amazing community for women who want an accountability group, a coach, or a long-distance training buddy. And the recently launched ActiveBudz app brings it local, matching you with workout buddies in your area who have the same goals, pace or interests as you do. I told Tanya that I thought a little Q+A was in order to help spread the word about the app, since I know it will benefit so many people just like me!

What was the inspiration behind ActiveBudz?
Tanya: I found it odd that as wildly connected to other active people as I was, and as my friends were, we were all still searching for someone "just right" to work out with: someone who shared our fitness level, our sport, and even our lifestyle habits! People would email and send messages to GOTRIbal looking for introductions to other coaches and training buddies, and then I'd hurry to find just the perfect connection for them -- no matter where in the country or world they needed it. 

Have you had any memorable workout partners who've inspired you?
T: It was really three women. They swam with me back in Hawaii, and each of them were accomplished long-distance triathletes. We had a blast in the pool, goofing off quite a bit. But when I wanted to hang out with them, they were always out on their bikes or running, too. (Or sleeping!) Despite my naivete they took me under their wing and showed me the ropes of multisport; inviting me on rides and helping me get signed up and ready for all my events, including finding me connections to people who had gear and equipment. It was always about the Connections to awesome people!

What is your favorite fitness event in San Diego?
T: I'm embarrassed to say I haven't done too many events here! I travel a lot so I can see family (while I race) and see a different part of the country. I did really enjoy the Carlsbad Tri though -- I did it with two girlfriends as a fun race, and I just smiled the entire time. It was so awesome. 

What words of advice do you have for women who are tackling a major goal like starting their own biz or running a tri (or learning to swim like me!)? 
T: If you have that flame lit within you, it's a testimony to your passion to do something new, bigger, better and more challenging. Don't let the little voice in your head that represents "safety" or "fear of failure" or "I'm not going to be good" stomp all over that flame. The key is to find people who share that flame and can help you fan it to be lit brighter and brighter. That's why there is ActiveBudz. I've learned that when I'm trying something new -- or even trying to get better at something I'm already pretty good at -- I reach out first to people who are a bit better and can help me know what I don't know. That personalized connection is so powerful, and so influential, it's the one thing that catapults me to keep doing what I think is hard, challenging or just plain "impossible".

What do you hope ActiveBudz will look like a year from now? 
T: I hope there are hundreds of thousands of people around the world who have discovered fun, meaningful and positive relationships with active buds they were introduced to on the ActiveBudz app. That these new friendships result not only in people living more adventurous, active lifestyles, but that they recognize that through those new friendships, they've reversed the rate of obesity simply by making one powerful connection at a time.

Be sure to add me on ActiveBudz if you live in San Diego! Especially if you're training for a half, since I just signed up for my next one, the Women's Running Series in San Diego on Saturday, February 22nd!

I wanted so badly to do the Women's Running Series half last year in San Diego and had a scheduling conflict, so when they reached out to me this year, I couldn't say yes fast enough. I am SO excited about this race. It's close to my house, gorgeous and flat and a perfect race for February. And since you know I am looking for running buddies, if you want to do it too, I have a discount code for you!!

Register: http://womensrunning.competitor.com/san-diego/register 
$15 Off Promo Code: WHYIRUN2

Email me if you register and we'll meet up before or after the race! Happy Hump Day!

Motivation Monday: Biometrics Testing

Last week my company hosted a wellness fair and brought in Wellness Corporate Solutions to do biometrics testing on all of us. The testing involved getting a finger prick to read the cholesterol, LDL and HDL levels, glucose and triglycerides in my blood, getting my blood pressure taken, my waist measured, my weight, and my BMI and body fat percentage taken. The last of which I had never done before.

Then we were given a link to an online wellness quiz where we could fill out other stuff, like questions about our stress levels, how much time we spend driving, if I eat breakfast everyday, etc. Using the data from the biometrics testing at the end, the quiz generated a report about our total wellness and areas for improvement.

Let's just say I was unpleasantly almost-surprised.

By the time I ran the marathon last year I was down 8lbs, eating better, sleeping more and drinking less. Last fall, I signed up for two more marathons in the hopes of recreating that disciplined lifestyle, but failed spectacularly on both counts. And not only did I gain that 8lbs back over the holidays but I threw in a few extra for good measure.

So I grabbed a Diet Coke and some peanut butter snack crackers and did some soul searching. Why has this been happening? Why is it so hard for me to maintain a consistently healthy lifestyle? What do I need to motivate myself? I really tried to pinpoint the factors that contributed to where I am now, which is certainly not where I intended to be a week before our vacation to Mexico.

I have my suspicions, but I'm not ready to share those quite yet. Instead, I spent the past week making some small changes and putting together a list of goals that I want to achieve and the steps I'll need to get there:

Lower My Cholesterol: News to me, but apparently my total cholesterol is slightly elevated. So I did some research on the Mayo Clinic website and found some ways to lower cholesterol. Looks like the first step I'm going to start taking will kill two birds with one stone: breakfast. I don't eat a healthy breakfast. I don't think I ever have in my life. But one of my absolute favorite new companies, MixMyOwn.com, makes breakfast so easy that it's stupid for me not to take advantage of it.

So I went to MixMyOwn last week and created a breakfast mix that includes all of the ingredients high in soluble fiber that supposedly lower your cholesterol: oats, quinoa puffs, almonds, and rich-in-fiber fruits like apples and pineapples. My goal is to leave my mix at the office and have it for breakfast, hot or cold, each morning when I get in. This will give me the 8-10g of Dietary Fiber I need to help lower my cholesterol.

Stay Active at Work: At my job, I sit for 8+ hours a day, slouched in my desk chair, feet kicked up on a ottoman (upside-down recycling bin). After seeing my tragic results, I decided that I am going to take 2 15-minute breaks each day to walk a brisk mile. That's 2 miles a day before I even get home! I'm also going to start only taking the stairs to our 4th floor office and I decided to alternate each half hour between sitting on my chair and sitting on a new stability ball to help improve my posture and remind me to sit actively.

Now I'm one of "those" people.

Get in a Minimum of 5 Hours of Exercise Each Week: My all or nothing approach to marathon training is part of what makes it so daunting. If I tell myself that I just have to get in 5 hours of exercise each week, I think that is a much more achievable goal, at least for right now. Plus, if I go for my daily walks, that's 2.5 hours right there.

Bikram at Least 2x a Week: This was a part of my New Year's Goals and I did not even come close to achieving or really attempting this in January. It's a fresh month and it's time to make the most out of the monthly subscription to my yoga studio.

Track My Progress Weekly: In my case, ignorance isn't bliss, it's weight gain. So staying accountable to myself via a journal, an app, this blog, or all three will help me keep up my work and track my progress. More importantly, I ordered the tool that CWS used in our biometrics screenings, the Omron Body Fat Loss Monitor, to keep track of my weekly BFP. I think that this will change the way I look at my progress, since I usually get discouraged by how slow I am to lose weight, when really I'm just gaining muscle. Seeing both numbers will help me to have a more complete picture of my heath.

Drink 8 Glasses / 64oz of Water a Day: Like breakfast, this is another no-brainer that I was doing well at for a while when I remembered to bring my Hyrdoflask to work. Lately though, I've been skimping on the water front.

Start Taking My Multivitamin and Biotin Supplement Each Day: Long hair, don't care. I was avoiding the frequent plagues at the office and growing my hair out when I remembered to take my supplements every day. Since then I've been sick about a bajillion times and my hair and nails have been slower to grow than ever.

There you have it. Written in stone (or at least 1s and 0s) for all of the internet to see. Biometrics testing was the kick in the ass that I needed and seems to have jump-started me into making healthier decisions. Now let's see if I can stick to them!

Sayulita Dreaming

About 6 months ago, I decided that Ryan and I needed to go on vacation. A real "do-nothing-but-relax" vacation. Because honestly? I've never been on one.

When you move far away from home, your "vacations" are trips back home to see family or attend weddings or to spend the holidays there. The flights are expensive, the days are far from relaxing and the PTO you get from work dwindles away before you know it. Since I moved to San Diego in 2010, we have our annual trip to Coachella, I've been to Vegas a couple of times for weekend trips and spent a weekend away each in San Francisco and Big Sur, but none of our getaways have been really, truly relaxing. So it was time.

At the top of my travel list? Sayulita, Mexico. Ever since I read about this small town in Foam Magazine years ago, I have wanted to go. When I first got to San Diego though, I told a few people about my wishlist destination and across the board the reaction was: Mexico??? Because of San Diego's proximity to Mexico, most people from here are kind of over it or their experiences with TJ have led them to believe all of Mexico is unsafe. Being a clueless East Coaster, I decided to put it off and put it off. But late last year, I put my foot down and booked a trip.

Why? Because according to the hundreds of American weddings that happen there each year, the professional surfers who call it their second home and Conde Nast Traveler magazine, it is totally safe and totally stress-free. Which is exactly what we need right now. And after a ton of research, we picked the totally gorgeous Playa Escondida resort to spend the last half of our week there.

So far, it's clear we made the right choice! It's been so easy to plan and communicate with them and the staff there is just incredibly nice and knowledgeable. We rented the Sol 3 which is a stand alone beachfront bungalow and based on their pictures, I am SO anxious to just get there and enjoy our hot tub on the beach!

As I count down the days to our February 9th departure, be prepared for lots of pre-Sayulita anticipation and shopping posts. In the meantime, I strongly suggest you go daydream on Playa Escondida's website and see what other gorgeous rooms they have to offer!

Suc It Up, Buttercup

It's Hump Day and if yours is going anything like mine, I bet you can't wait for the weekend. I snapped this picture of the crazy hanging succulent on our porch last night, just as the sunset was hitting it perfectly. It's flourished so much since Ryan brought it home and found a nice, sunny spot for it. For me, having it greet me every time I come home is a nice reminder to enjoy the simple things. So wherever you're suffering working for the weekend, suck it up and find something to smile about.

My 2014 Blogger Manifesto

One of my favorite companies, Tiny Devotions, has a manifesto that drives their brand. It's their promise to themselves and their customers and it informs everything they do. And one of the things that I spent a lot of time thinking about during Couch Week was how I wanted to create a manifesto for this blog.

This will help to set the intention behind every post. Every DIY, every Taco Tuesday. Moreover, it comprises everything that I want this blog to be this year. A source of inspiration, a fun read during your morning Red Bull, and a salty kiss on the cheek when you're feeling down.

New Year's Revolution

Today is the start of a new year and somehow we managed to conquer our hangovers and get out of the house long enough to take in this beautiful view.

Nothing beats the vibe in Ocean Beach and our day there set a tone for the year. It helped me to set my intention for this upcoming year as well: to keep things easy, breezy and bright, just like OB. But I always like to get a few goals down in writing, so here is my list for 2014.

1. Spend at least three days each month at the beach.
2. Finally, really learn how to swim.
3. Try stand-up paddle boarding.
4. Learn to play the ukelele.
5. Go to bikram at least 2x a week.
6. Pause more in the moment.
7. Smile at one stranger every day.

Let's do this 2014. I can't wait to see what you have in store.

Motivation Monday: The Susan G. Komen San Diego 3-Day

Where do I even start?

Last year one of my closest friends/co-worker/cubicle neighbor walked the 2012 Susan G. Komen 3-Day 60 mile Walk for the Cure. She was a team of one during that walk, under the team name "Tit for Tat" that she has used for breast cancer fundraisers over the years, ever since her mom won a battle with the disease. This year, when she announced that she was going to do it again, I secretly considered signing up with her. But I kept that a secret for months because I wasn't sure I really wanted to commit.

Then I started reading a blog written by someone younger than me who was currently battling breast cancer. At the time she was having to drop out of a half marathon because of her diagnosis. Meanwhile, I was training for my first full marathon, so her situation hit just a little too close to home. And breast cancer does run in my family after all: I never got the chance to know my maternal grandmother or great-grandmother who both died because of it. I was inspired by her attitude and her story and decided then and there to register for the walk. As a proud new member of Team Tit for Tat, I would have to raise $2,300 to participate and walk 60 miles through San Diego over the course of one weekend.

Flash forward through 8 months of fundraising, including selling ads on this blog and crocheting beanies to raise money: the 3-Day finally arrived this past weekend. Our adorable Team Captain, Marisa (who somehow tricked 5 other people to join the team too) made us pins and Team Tit for Tat tank tops that we proudly modeled on Day 1.

Up at 5:30am at the Del Mar Fairgrounds for Opening Ceremonies

During the opening ceremony, I started to get an idea of just how emotional this weekend was going to get. Several men and women took the stage to read their reasons for walking and before long, I was bawling uncontrollably. Sometimes when you're fundraising for an event instead of doing service-related charity, it can be hard to understand the impact of what you're doing. Listening to these supporters and survivors, I started to understand what the Susan G. Komen foundation is actually able to do for people with the money we raise and that was a great way to start the weekend.

We started the walk at the Fairgrounds and walked through Del Mar on our way to Torrey Pines and La Jolla. As soon as we got into the downtown Del Mar area, I was overwhelmed with how huge this event really is. I could see a river of pink walking behind me and ahead of me and the sidewalks were lined with supporters, cheering us on, handing us snacks and beverages (one guy joked that it's called the 3-Day buffet), and doing whatever they could to make us laugh or thank us. And honestly? It all felt a little bit undeserved until we came across breast cancer survivors who told us via signs or cheers just how much our efforts meant to them (cue: more bawling on my part).

The lovely ladies of Team Tit for Tat at the top of our first big hill, Torrey Pines

Outside of Del Mar, our super sweet co-worker Kelli met us at the base of Torrey Pines hill and walked it with us. Kelli is one of those women who just lives life to the fullest. Whenever I talk to her she tells me about some awesome thing she's doing, like playing the uke in a meetup group or stand-up paddle-boarding. It was so great of her to come out and support us during our first major hill.

The course map said we walked 20 miles that first day but a lot of Walkers said their GPS's and apps read that we walked 25-27 miles. It sure felt like it. We started at 7:30am and crossed the Day 1 finish line into Mission Bay park around 5:30pm. My lovely bestie Bonnie came out to pick me up and give me a ride and after catching up on Scandal at her house (priorities), I headed home and went to sleep around 7pm.

One of the amazing groups of supporters who showed up every couple of miles to make us laugh - The Melon Men

We made it! The end of Day 1

At 6am on Day 2, I was hurting. Even though I am a runner, my running training did not prepare me for 8+ straight hours of physical activity, no matter how low impact it was. Yet, there I was, riding shotgun in Ryan's car on Day 2 at the crack of dawn, ready to do it all over again.

I met the team at Mission Bay and we headed through SeaWorld and along the San Diego River over to Ocean Beach where we spent the day walking amidst beautiful views in OB, Point Loma, Sunset Cliffs and Mission Beach. While Day 2 was the toughest on all of us physically, it was also the most fun. Our teammate Ashley's parents met us in OB with hot chocolate and Bailey's and between them, the SeaWorld employees, and the other supporters who cheered us on at Robb Field, we were really starting to feel the love - and understand why it was somewhat necessary to keep us going.

My favorite Walker Stalker, thanks to Team Hula Hooters

In fact, whenever my feet hurt or my back hurt or I started to get tired, I didn't have to look far for motivation. There were my beautiful and hilarious teammates, first and foremost, who were trucking on alongside me, there were Girl Scouts who were so excited to cheer us on with their chants and the pins they made us, there were the dancing SDPD bike cops cracking us up, there were survivors thanking us everywhere we went and just amazingly warm-hearted people rooting us on at every turn. Most of all, all I had to do was think about how insignificant my 3 days of achy, self-inflicted "suffering" was in comparison to that of the women and men who battle breast cancer. The outpouring of support and love and humor and generosity that you experience during an event like this is just unlike anything you could get anywhere else.

Still... the pain.

Motivation was constant, but so was the ache in my feet. Which is when we decided to call in reinforcements in the form of my favorite cinnamon flavored beverage, Fireball. The Fireball got us through all of our various ailments during the last few hours of Day 2 and left us finishing Mile 40 with happy, smiling faces.

Very discrete

More Fireball to get us through the "last 3 miles" of Day 2

Don't worry, contrary to what it may look like, I didn't actually lose a leg in a Fireball-induced haze

Day 3 was the final day that my amazing boyfriend had to cart my exhausted body over to the Starting Line at dawn. This time though, I had Brewer with me to pull me along for the first 5 miles. He made a pretty cute Walker in his pink bandanna and made my morning infinitely easier, even after he crapped all over my leg (much to my embarrassment, I didn't even notice until another Walker pointed it out). Ryan and Banjo met back up with us around Mile 45 in Mission Beach to relieve Brewer of his walking duties and I took advantage of the puppy photo op. 

Once Brewer left, it was a blur of nonstop pain and thorough exhaustion that neither Fireball nor cheerleading could really alleviate. We marched on though, putting one foot in front of the other, back around the San Diego River on our way to Old Town and the major hill (Juan Street) that awaited us there. Which is why we were so thankful to see Marisa's mom (a survivor herself) and mother-in-law and my dear friend Raina show us up to walk with us for what was arguably the most brutally boring part of the whole walk. Their presence came at a pretty crucial time during the day.

As we hobbled on through Hillcrest towards the finish line at Petco Park, none of us could really talk or think or feel our legs. I had shin splints and there was a surplus of bum knees and achy feet and painful backs. And this is where I started to get really emotional. The last five miles were just a flood of emotions for every reason you can think of. Finally, one Komen mile (the kind of mile that is actually anywhere from 1.1 to 5 miles long) away from Petco Park, a choir of singing children led by a survivor, absolutely annihilated me. In case you were wondering, I cried a lot this weekend. 

Then suddenly we were done. We crossed the finish line and picked up our t-shirts and stumbled over to South Paw to meet up with our family and friends and beer. Ryan and Bonnie and Ian and Anjali and Pre were waiting for me there and I could not have been happier to see them. I am always grateful to have such wonderful friends in my life. We managed to get a few beers in before the equally emotional closing ceremonies where everyone took off a shoe and raised it high in the sky in support of all those who couldn't walk with us and those we were walking for. It was a beautiful end to a beautiful weekend. 

There is so much that I'm forgetting and so many wonderful mammaries (sorry, my new breast friends and I have been speaking in boob jokes for days...) that I wish I could share. The thing is though, you just have to be there for this one. It's an unbelievable 3 days of camaraderie and love and strength and support. And while I don't think I'll walk another 3-Day, I will forever try to support the Walkers through cheering and Fireball stations and of course, donations. And now I'd like to thank those who donated to me, without whom, I wouldn't have had the privilege to experience this weekend firsthand:

My father and brother

My fantastic co-workers and company

Gayle Talabay - a beautiful and inspiring previvor and blogger

The Long Family

Peter Barker-Homek

My lovely friends Keri, Kemi, Anj and Pretesh

My Aunt Micki and Uncle Ed

One of my oldest friends Ashley and her mom, Grace

Devon DeMint - one of my favorite bloggers and whose cousin is the survivor who inspired me to commit!

Be Well Gifts

Rama Thai

mini-Fab

Precious Smiles

Shivam Creations

Dixie's Window

Optimistic Elephant

C & L On Main

The Mango Seed

The Village Hat Shop

Running on the Wall

Jessamity

Sweet Lex

Andie Lee

SkinAgain

Nuts and Bolts Design

Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

11/4/13 - 11/10/13 Health and Fitness Stats:

• ran 1 day for a total of 4 miles (31 miles below target) 

11/11/13 - 11/17/13 Health and Fitness Stats:

• walked 3 days for a total of 60 miles (20 miles over target)

#FitBlogLA 2013, Part I: My Takeaways

Ever since I began this blog in February, I am regularly stunned by the great opportunities that come my way because of it. But if I'm being honest, none have been nearly as cool or as inspirational as getting to attend Fitness Magazine's West Coast Blogger Meet and Tweet, #FitBlogLA.

About 50 fitness bloggers were invited to enjoy speaker panels, food, and sponsor interactions at the Annenberg Beach House in Santa Monica. After checking in and getting my badge, I headed upstairs to get a seat for the panels. Immediately, the swag began: on our way in, we were given cute aqua-colored Camelbak Groove Insulated Bottles that have filters in the straws. Which is perfect for the times when I'm working out and there's only tap water available. I filled my new Camelbak up with lemon water and went inside to listen to Fitness Magazine's Editor-In-Chief, Betty Wong, interview the creator of P90X, Tony Horton.

Personally, I've never tried P90X. I've had plenty of friends who've attempted it and only one who actually completed it. And no one has ever said anything about it that has convinced me to try it myself, including Tony. As he was talking to Betty about his views on fitness and nutrition, he just came across as a cocky, over-caffeinated LA stereotype. Overall, I didn't take anything away from Tony's panel, but I will say that for his age, which is 55 years old (a fact he mentioned at least a dozen times), he does look really good in person.

The next panel was my absolute favorite, mostly because it was somewhat life-changing. I've never heard anyone talk about food or diets or nutrition in a way that resonated with me before I heard nutrition therapist Alyse Levine speak. She spoke a lot about our cultural relationship with food and our tendency to approach food with a deprivation mindset. Everything she said made so much sense and she gave me actionable advice that I've already started putting to use. For instance, "the fork rule": when food is in your mouth, put your fork down. Don't have the next bite ready while you chew.

As I get older and pay more attention to how I feel when I eat different foods, I've been thinking a lot lately about how I need to change my relationship with food. For instance, it's not funny anymore to profess to eating Cheez-Its, gummy bears and Diet Coke for breakfast every morning. In fact, it goes against another one of Dr. Levine's rules: choose real food. Another thing? While I used to think it was cute and made me like one of the guys to eat as fast as I do (which is really, really fast), I now realize it's actually really bad for me. Not only do I not get to enjoy food that way, but I eat too fast to notice that I'm full.

But the most important realization of all was that I have a lot of anxiety around food because of money. This wasn't something that Alyse talked about specifically, it just happened to occur to me as she was discussing the way that we deprive ourselves and then eat too much as a reward. The truth is, though I've rarely deprived myself of food on purpose (I'm not a fan of "diets"), I have, for much of my life, been deprived of good food against my will or because of means. For example, when there was no food in the house as a kid, my mom would buy huge bags of potato chips to "tide us over." Unfortunately, we never knew when she would be able to get to the grocery store, so I would end up eating the whole bag out of fear that I wouldn't be able to satiate my hunger with real food. This happened often enough that whenever I was at friends' houses or school parties or was being treated to lunch or dinner, I would binge on as much real food there as possible and as quickly as I could. It started a lifelong pattern of eating crap food like chips when I had no money and when I had money, I overate good food out of anxiety that I didn't know when the next good meal would be.

The problem is, that shouldn't be a problem anymore. Money is no longer an issue for me, but that anxiety still exists. Someone can treat me to lunch now and I feel guilty if I don't eat all of it. I feel compelled to eat the food that people bring to work to share just because it's free. Which is why I say Alyse's panel was life-changing. Without her, I don't think I would have experienced this revelation and I'm really inspired now to try to rewire my brain.

The third speaker was celebrity trainer Harley Pasternak, who is responsible for one or two bodies you might have seen before: Rihanna, Miley Cyrus, Kim Kardashian, Kanye West (imagine having to tell him what to do), Jennifer Hudson, Katy Perry, Ke$ha, Lady Gaga, Julianne Hough, and on and on and on (you can see the full list of his clients here). The roster of celebrities whose bodies Pasternak whips into shape is so long that it basically means he is THE trainer of Hollywood. And yet, he is just a humble guy who embodies Canadian niceness and who is actually kind of nerdy about his approach to fitness and research. He debunked a couple of myths during his talk (juicing and detoxes are BS) and said that one of the main reasons we're overweight as a nation is because we're walking thousands of steps less than other countries. He also doesn't believe in push-ups, so he is the best trainer in the world as far as I'm concerned.

Last but not least, Fitness's Digital Editor, the adorable Christie Griffin, moderated a discussion with four bloggers on how they've turned their blogs into businesses.The bloggers, two of whom I read regularly (Skinny Runner and Run Eat Repeat), shared a lot of really good information and insights as to what it takes to make a blog profitable and what they've learned along the way. It was pretty motivational and I really liked their overall outlook on how we should all support each other in this community, something that I've believed since I started blogging 14 years ago.

Following the blogging panel, Saucony was leading a run on the beach, but I had at least two hours worth of driving ahead of me so I bolted for my swag bag and hit the road. I was beaming the whole ride home, something I haven't felt as a result of a professional or creative endeavor in a very long time. It was such a great day, partly because of the swag (so much awesome stuff that I'll have to cover it in a separate post), partly because of the things I learned, but mostly because it of the energy I got from meeting so many awesome women from the blogging community, many of whom who share a lot of the same interests that I do. It made blogging suddenly seem very legitimate and full of potential for me, more so than ever before.

As Ira Glass just said in the episode of This American Life that I'm listening to right now, "The clumsy first steps that you take towards any big goal are inherently awkward." This blog was and is my first step since grad school into figuring out how to make writing a part of my life and, eventually, my income. Maybe I have gone about blogging somewhat awkwardly so far this year. But #FitBlogLA gave me the courage and motivation to take the next steps and that is exactly what I'm going to do. :)