Take this post for instance. I'm posting Motivation Monday on a Thursday because I was putting off admitting something I feel really guilty about: I didn't do my final 20 miler this past Saturday. This past weekend was supposed to be my final push and my last long run before the taper and at Mile 10 my body and brain just gave up. I walked the two miles home, completely defeated. And I've spent the past several days avoiding admitting this. I wanted so badly to go into the taper feeling like I gave it my all in my final hard training week. Instead I feel like I failed.
I don't know if it's runner burnout or boredom from my routes or the fact that my MBA class has started up again but I have just not been motivated to run at all. Every day it's a major struggle to go on my runs and when I'm running all I can think about is all the stuff I need to be doing for work or school or personal errands. I've completely fallen behind on all the house cleaning and projects since I started training and I feel guilty that I'm not doing that instead of running. Guilt and stress and exhaustion. That's how I feel going into the taper. That and scared that I'm not prepared for race day.
Whatever the case, I'm officially in the taper, the home stretch now, and what's done is done. This week has been all about trying to stop my whining and just follow my training plan, even when I feel too exhausted to put on my sneakers. And next week, it's definitely back to bikram for me. If my body could talk, you would hear it screaming that it needs to do camel pose in a 105° room. Even though I should have been crosstraining all along (something I finally know to be true though I denied it for the past 2.5 months), I hope that doing almost no running and all bikram for the two weeks before the marathon will make up for it.
2.5 months. I can't believe that's how long I've been training. This is the most dedicated I've been for anything ever in my life. And now I only have 2.5 weeks left.
Time to taper.
5/6/13 - 5/12/13 Health and Fitness Stats:
- ran 3 days for a total of 25.6 miles